Sorry for the long delay between posts. I've been working on a website to replace this blog, and I've sort of neglected adding any actual content. Anyway, the website is at sensiblemadness.com. It's a work in progress, but it's coming along. I'm not a big web design guru or anything, so it's kind of ugly so far, but it's no more than twice as ugly as blogger, and it serves my purposes, so it'll do for now.
Anyway, on to the next two chapters of Genesis. This same content is available on the aforementioned site, by the way.
Genesis 42
As it turned out, the famine that was proving so profitable to Joseph was making things less than comfortable for his father Jacob and his brothers. So, Jacob sent ten of his sons down to Egypt. He kept Benjamin back at home though, because he didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. So, apparently it’s okay if his other sons get murdered along the way or sold into slavery or any of the other nasty things that happened to people back then, but Benjamin needed to be protected.
Anyway, the ten brothers showed up in Egypt, and went to Joseph to buy some grain. Joseph of course recognized his brothers immediately, but thanks to the gobs of makeup Egyptian men wore in those days, none of the brothers recognized Joseph. Joseph, remembering his dreams predicting his brothers would bow down before him, decided to do his damndest to make sure those dreams came true. So, he accused his brothers of being spies and accused them of coming just so they could see how bad off Egypt was, presumably so their vast armies could invade or something of that nature. The brothers pleaded with Joseph, swearing that they were all honest men, and brothers in the same family. Unfortunately, they didn’t know when to keep their big mouths shut, and happened to mention that there was another brother back home. Joseph, seeing an opportunity, demanded that they send one person to bring the other brother to Egypt. To give them time to think of a good response to his demand without any unnecessary distractions, he threw them all in prison.
After three days, Joseph came to them and told them to take some corn back to their family, but bring back their youngest brother. In order to ensure their return, he demanded that one of them stay behind in prison. The other brothers, not realizing Joseph could understand everything they said because he had cleverly decided to speak only through an interpreter, began talking loudly amongst themselves. They decided that this whole mess they were in was all because they had sold their youngest brother into slavery. Reuben, eager to show everyone else up, reminded them that he had been the one to tell them not to just kill the kid, so really, he had saved them all from eternal damnation. So he definitely shouldn’t have to be the one to stay in prison.
Joseph, hearing that his brothers actually felt slightly guilty, turned away and cried like a little girl. He then turned back, took Simeon, and tied him up and threw him in the dungeon. He then ordered them to fill their sacks with corn and then, when they weren’t looking, he slipped their money back in their wallets and sent them on their way. On the way back home, the money was discovered, and the brothers got scared, assuming God was playing one of his infamous practical jokes on them, which likely meant one of them was going to be a pillar of salt soon.
At any rate, the brothers returned to Jacob, and told him they had to take Benjamin back with them. Jacob, having already lost his sons Joseph and Simeon, refused to let them take Benjamin too. Reuben, jumping a little further ahead than one would think prudent in the initial stages of a negotiation, offered to let Jacob kill his two sons if he didn’t return with Simeon and Benjamin, but Jacob still refused, claiming that if anything were to happen to little Benjamin, he (Jacob) would die from sorrow.
Genesis 43
So Jacob’s family ate all of the corn which his sons had brought back from Egypt.
After they had eaten the food, Jacob asked his sons to go back to Egypt to get more. Judah reminded Jacob that the guy that had given them corn had told them not to come back without their youngest brother. Hearing this, Jacob became irate, and asked his sons why they were stupid enough to have told this guy that they had another brother. The brothers protested that the guy had seemed trustworthy enough, and asked them a bunch of questions about their family, which they answered honestly, and how were they supposed to know the dude was going to ask them to bring their other brother over?
Judah volunteered to be responsible for Benjamin, swearing that if anything should happen to Benjamin, it would be totally his (Judah’s) fault. This was a step down from Reuben’s offer to let Jacob kill his two sons, but nevertheless Jacob relented because he was starving.
So, Jacob hatched a plan by which the brothers would return to Egypt with twice the money they needed to buy more corn. He was worried that the money had been left in his sons’ bags by accident, and the Egyptian would be pissed that they had left without paying for their corn. He also gave them some honey, spices, myrrh, nuts, and almonds, which they apparently had plenty of despite being in a major famine, to give to the Egyptian grain merchant as a bribe.
So Jacob’s sons went down to Egypt with their gifts. Joseph, seeing that they had brought Benjamin with them, ordered a feast prepared. Joseph had his servants bring his brothers into his house. Intimidated, the brothers began trying to explain what happened with the money, and trying to give it back before they were beheaded for stealing from Egypt. Joseph’s steward, however, told them it was no big deal, and gave them water and washed their feet and fed their asses. Also, he gave some food to their donkeys.
At this point, Joseph came in and asked the brothers a bunch of questions about their father. Seeing nothing unusual in this, they answered the questions honestly. Joseph then looked at Benjamin, and "his bowels did yearn upon his brother". This, we can only assume, means that Joseph was tempted to hold his brother down and fart on him, just as he had done when they were kids.
Fighting back this temptation, Joseph went off to a corner and once again cried like a little girl. After he had composed himself, he went back and ordered food for his brothers, and ordered food in a separate room for the Egyptian members of his house. Because the Egyptians were a bunch of racists who refused to eat with those dirty Hebrews. So as we can see, Egyptian-Hebrew relations were less than cordial at the time, despite the fact that Pharaoh had allowed his entire kingdom to be run by a Hebrew.
Anyway, Joseph gave Benjamin five times more food than anyone else, and everyone had a grand old time.
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